black & white

I dont always appreciate black & white photos like I should…..
I also don’t post a lot of photos of my self, as I tend to be the kind of person that can find something I hate about every photo I am in. Some times you need to just relax and say “hey-thats just my face frozen in time, I’m way cuter in real life”. And you need to let your self believe it, no matter what the little mean voice in the back of your head is trying to tell you, that voice doesn’t know a thing.
When I am caught in someone else’s photos I usually make the same face because I forget how to smile. When some one says to smile for a photo I can’t stop thinking things like “Am I doing it right? Is this how I smile? How the hell do I smile? Did they take the photo? Do I keep smiling?” Tyra Banks would tell me I need to practice my smizing in the mirror, but I’d rather be sewing.
On this particular day though I was feeling pretty (after weeks of hating the fact that I gave my self some bangs in a fit of hair boredom) and the photo was just for Thomas who had left for work before I had gotten ready for a party. I took the photo myself on my phone, and friends the power of a “selfie” with no one else around is just downright relaxing. There is no pressure and if you blink, well you delete that sucker and no one is ever the wiser (except everyone on the planet, because we all do that right?) So there I am…..but I am also here, and here and here and those photos make me cringe, but I am trying to get over that. Not just because I’ve lost some weight, but also because those are just my face frozen in time, and I’m way cuter in real life ;)
So lets be kind to ourselves, and to one another, and ignore that bossy little voice that tells us we are not pretty enough….and take more photos in black and white & color. I think its time I load a roll of black and white film into my brownie (as I’ve only used the color film so far)
Happy Friday friends!

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35 Responses to black & white

  1. rae says:

    i think that’s a really cute picture of you! and i’m the same freaking way. even when i take pictures of myself to put on my blog i almost never do it because i get too judgmental about myself. so silly. my default face when someone takes my picture is mouth open, hahah, not cute!

  2. Heidi Kenney says:

    Oh Rae you are absolutely adorable in all your photos! I love them!!

  3. Amen, sister. (P.S. You’re gorgeous.)

  4. Heidi Kenney says:

    Melissa, you are the sweetest!!!!

  5. Eliza says:

    I totally relate, it’s too easy to get down on oneself – I don’t know why we do it. You are super cute! :)

  6. Julie says:

    Your picture is gorgeous. My family has resorted to toilet humor to try and get me to smile and not sneer. The pain of the Thanksgiving photo my parents insist on taking to send to everyone (mind you I am very much an adult with a son graduating high school next year) being particularly dreadful each year (I really am much cuter in person–I don’t translate well to 2D). The other photos of you were quite cute. How could they not be when you and everyone around you look to be having such fun?

  7. Asha says:

    I really, really love your bangs and you look great! As my cousin would say, “bangs just add a little something extra”. They compliment your face very well.

  8. Rachel says:

    Your totally right! We are so critical of ourselves. I think your super cute in your photo and I like your fringe. Cutting it yourself, your a brave girl. And pictures never do us justice, I think I’m cuter than I am in pictures too. I watched a documentary that someone said that you should stand in front of the mirror every day and say ” I love myself unconditionally right now, just the way I am”. It made me a bit teary eyed. I’m starting that today. I loved your post today and hope to see more photos of you.

    P.s.- I was at Barnes and noble last night and my daughter came to me with your plushies and a big smile on her face and I thought, I know that girl. We had to get the big doughnut.

  9. Ok, you are absolutely adorable!!

  10. Heidi Kenney says:

    Thank you Bonnie, you are sweetness!

  11. Heidi Kenney says:

    Rachel, Your very sweet and thanks for the bang love. I still mostly hate them on most days and pin them back with bobby pins with doing the whole what was I thinking talk to remind myself to never ever cut them again haha. The documentary sounds lovely, if you remember the title please let me know, Id love to watch it! As for the Barnes & Noble, I love love love that Kidrobot was able to work out stocking with them as its so great to hear so many people are able to see & touch them in person now :) :) Hope you love your donut!!

  12. Heidi Kenney says:

    Asha, aw thank you so very much! I’ve been growing my hair out for awhile now and I just felt so bored with it. I still kind of hate them most days, but I’ve found right after a shower I hate them just a tiny bit less haha

  13. Heidi Kenney says:

    Julie, thank you so much my dear! Toilet humor would still make me smile too, thats what I think about the 2D too haha its not my best form haha. Although I like to think my personality is part of my charm and you need to see me in person to actually know me ;) Its hard at shows (or at a baby shower in one case) when your asked to pose for a photo I think. I think the trying to pose for someone else is what really gets me nervous, and its true that with cell phone we dont usually use flash so you are kind of frozen wondering if a photo has been taken yet haha…but thank you, you are very sweet!

  14. Heidi Kenney says:

    Eliza, thank so much! I am glad I am not the only one, although I wish we all could just believe in our own beauty, and support and love one another :)

  15. Maggie says:

    Amen! For the record, I think you look beautiful and I love the bangs. My new thing is to try and look happy in photos and not worry about the pretty. Happy always looks good.

  16. Heidi Kenney says:

    Oh Katie, you’re a sweet one!

  17. Heidi Kenney says:

    Maggie, thanks so much! I still can’t love them every day, but they’ll grow haha. I love your idea- happy is always beautiful!! Love that!!

  18. katie says:

    You are the dearest and I love you no matter…but this picture is pretty darn cute and you can definitely tell your are “B’s” mom!

  19. Lesley says:

    You’re stunning, and please cut a fringe of bangs on me!

  20. Molly says:

    You look so totally fierce in that photo and pretty damn adorable in the other ones, but then again, I think you are always super adorable and fierce!

  21. Lizette says:

    You look great in that photo. Yes, black and white seems to take away some of the distractions from color ones. Once in awhile, I think it is good to take and keep a few B&W. The old timely look is also a filter to feed our nostalgia. Happy new year Heidi!

  22. Angie h. says:

    Congratulations on your success. I’ve been reading your blog for years, and love your work. I was so excited to see it in Barnes & Noble. Again congratulations on your weight loss and everything.

  23. Heidi Kenney says:

    Angie, thanks so much for the kind words!!

  24. Heidi Kenney says:

    Lizette, I think the idea that black and white takes away the distraction of color is just spot on!! Happy New Year lizette!

  25. Heidi Kenney says:

    Molly, you are pretty adorable and fierce yourself :)

  26. Heidi Kenney says:

    Lesley, you are so kind :) :) Im not sure id trust myself to cut some one else’s hair haha

  27. Heidi Kenney says:

    Katie, you just have to love me because youve known me for so long hahah, youve seen all my phases (remember the black hair with straight across bangs? oh good lord haha) see you soon!!

  28. プラダ コピー says:

    I Love this post!

  29. Twinkie Chan says:

    I *love* your bangs in that photo! Cute cute!

  30. Jen says:

    You look amazeballs! Talented AND good-looking ;)

  31. Heidi Kenney says:

    Jen, you are so sweet!

  32. Heidi Kenney says:

    Stephanie (ahem twinkiechan haha) Tom always says “you know…twinkiechan” and Im like “her name is Stephanie! youve met her, you cant refer to her by her brand” hahaha thanks for the sweetness!

  33. danielle thompson says:

    Girl. I get it. So so much. I’m so glad you linked to those photos because you are beautiful… ALWAYS. And you’re right, it’s hard to make that nagging voice go away. We gals are trained in that thinking. It’s so sad. I’m super proud of you and your hard work in so many facets of your life. I admire you more than words can say – on so MANY levels! You are beautiful! (and yes, please post more photos of you, because I for one love seeing that face!) : )

  34. Heidi Kenney says:

    Danielle, thank you so much beautiful lady! I admire you mama, all you do with two little ones around is amazing!!